Thursday, April 29, 2010

PABILA TUHAN BERBISIK KEPADA KU



Hidup ibarat musim..Bila kita happy, same mcm Spring yg indah which is kita akan rase nikmat bunga2 dlm life, Summer yg sesuai untuk rilex n free ur mind, Autumn yg buat perasaan campur baur hadir n finally Winter yg kdg2 akan lagi menyeksakan bila kehadiran ribut..And selama hayat ak, mostly ak tinggal dlm musim Winter n sentiasa beribut..

Sepanjang ak bernafas selama 21 thn, mcm2 keadaan ak lalui..Sebelum ak ceritakan ap yg telah ak lalui, hope kpd sesiapa yg bc ni hbs kan cte ni kat cni, coz ap yg bakal u guys bc, something that im not proud of..amat memalukan but only 1 thing, if u guys have any idea to help me out from dis huge problems, i really needs it..and please, again, hbs kan cte ni kat cni n jgn bncang among others k..


Bila ak dilahirkan, ak dibesarkan dlm keadaan yg agk mewah..which is ap yg ak nak..Ayh ak blh belikan..kalau nak kata, family ktrg slalu ad bnda2 yg terbaru di kwsn kejiranan ktrg.. N my Dad is really a great Dad..Sgt bersyukur 4 that..Time dlu dia Chef, used 2 be 2nd Chef kat 1 hotel area Shah Alam..Leh kata tiap2 minggu mkn sane, bla bln Puasa je, leh katakana tiap2 hr berbuka kat sane..Time 2, sedara mara semua dtg nak tumpang sekaki..Nak rase berbuka kat hotel..but time 2 ak kecik lagi, so xtau psl kesempatan yg dia amik on my Dad..

Nak dijadikan cerita, time gawat thn 1997 – 1998 (x ingat thn mane 1), Pak Cik ak which is adik Ayh ak, ajk quit dr kje Hotel yg konon2 nye plan nak bkak kdai mkn..N 1 thing, My Dad is too nice n kdg2..agk naïf..then dia quit dr hotel 2..n start la bisnes ngan adik dia..n start 2, nmpak dh yg bisnes 2 x kemana n last2 kne gulung tikar..Starting on that day..Life ktrg start berubah, no more fancy cloth..n plg terasa..no more duit raya :’(.. Ayh ak did cuba utk bangkit balik, cma sbab kan dia baik sgt, too many mutant ska amik kesempatan ke atas dia..Slalu kes bla nak mula2 run a restaurant, mest ramai org yg akan cr dia..coz he has so much good ideas.. n bla dah berjaya, those mutant buang dia n msk kan la kaum kerabat mereka yg terdiri dr kwn2 or kaum family..Mmg bunyi kejam, but 2 slalu jd ke atas ayh aku.. Bla dia bukak bisnes sndri, bnyk pulak yg dengki smpai guna cara halus.. n now he is 45 years old, still bkerja sbab rase bersalah dia yg dlu x hilang lg, plus ak still ad adik yg study lg n kami hdp menyewa..Paling menyedihkan, ayh ak br kne buang kje 2 hr lepas atas alas an, perniagaan x menguntungkan..N org yg me-fired dia 2..kwn dia yg dlu kemain menyembah sujud my Dad sbab nak khidmat dia selepas dlu si mutant ni slalu kne tpu dlm bisnes, staf lari la segala bagai la..then sbab kan my Dad trust mutant 2 ats dasar kwn, then my dad deal 2 work 4 him..

Ak rase enough bout my Dad, now dia sgt tkt nak menghadap kami..sbab rase bsalah dia dh start kuasai dia..But kami yg lain xpnah slh kan dia..n plg sedih, time pg td ak nak g kje, br dpt jmpa dia, dia yg kejutkan ak bgn n bla ak nk g kje td, dia nmpak ak gelak2 n senyum kat dia ‘Lega ayh tgk ko senyum’..OMG..ak leh byg kan cane rase bsalah nye dia smpai dia ckp cam2..Demi Allah, dia x pnah ktrg slh kan..sbab ktrg dh masak ngan nasib yg menimpa dia, msk ngan kekejaman org2 keliling dia :’(

Sekarang, back to me..Ak sgt tension n don’t know what 2 do, semuanye berpunca dari 1 bisnes MLM yg ak dh join..Niat utk ak join just nak uba nasib family ak, dah lame kami hdp ssh n ak pk mayb ngan join bisnes ni nasib kami akan berubah jd lbh baik..tp,sbab kan bisnes 2, ak dh buat pinjaman 41k n dpt tau, mutant2 MLM 2 pndai2 wat pnjaman 50k..ats alasan nak byr agen n peguam..motep?? n tiap2 bulan duit dlm akaun aku kne tolak RM650 selama tempoh yg sgt lame..bla di campur sume, ak kne byr blk sbnyk RM70k..now dgn mslh ak, yg ak sorok dr my Dad, sgt2 x membantu dia dlm keadaan dia skrg..Dia still ingat ak dpt gaji normal coz klu ak dpt gaji normal, at least dpt ak tlg dia smntara dia nk dpt kje baru..

Cukup la sekadar ak ckp, klu u guys nak join MLM, baik lupakan..mmg derang bnyk sgt ayt manis sblom nak join,,once dh join derang akan biar kan kt cam2, n bla x mnjadi, derang akan slh kan kita pulak..ap yg derang janjikan, jgn la percaya..n kebanyakkan yg msk, sume Melayu..Mmg ad yg bjaya, ak x tpu..tp cara utk bjaya 2 sbnanye agk kotor n ramai yg x smpai hati nak buat, coz cuba byg kan, klu cara utk bjaya 2 x kejam, mest semua yg msk 2 dh berjaya..ad statement 2 mutant MLM 2 ckp, ‘ad ustaz, polis n pegawai kerajaan masuk ma, mest la halal n selamat’..cba pk blk, ad je ustaz rogol org, ad je polis mkn rasuah..bnda ni sng je, bla org dh nmpak duit dpn mata, segala bnda haram automatic akan di halal kan..Aku bsyukur ak tarik dri..sekurang2 nye ak x wat dosa menipu org n mkn duit haram dlm jangka masa yg sgt2 panjang..walaupn hdp ak skrg dlm hutang, tapi sekurang2 nye 2 leh jd iktibar supaya ak stop spe2 utk join bisnes mutant2 sblom tlambat..

Bla ak senang dlu, hr2 org ajk lepak, ajk jmpa..but now bla ak dh tersungkur..dengan gaji tinggal 650 which is x cukup sbab demi nak cover dr ayh aku tau psl pinjaman 2..terpaksa ak banje kan duit utk rumah smpai xde ap yg tinggal utk ak..so kdg2 ak terpaksa bg alas an ‘diet’ utk elakkan org tau ak xde duit..n kdg2..ak mmg terpaksa puasa..but xpe..ak x ksah..n kdg2 ak akn bg alas an utk lepak sme2 or becuti mane2..hope u guys paham..sbab bnda ni la yg akan ingat kan ak smpai bla2 psl betapa peritnye bla dh tesilap langkah..kawan2 pn lari..bla minx tlg ngan kwn2 yg slalu ckp ‘love u denial, any prob bgtau je,kita bestfren,i promise akn tlg bla u ssh,etc’ derang tros snyap n x contact pn ak blk..ak call x berangkat..jnji nk tlg but tros lari..kdg2..i don’t need money, it just i need a friend yg leh dengar mslh ak, n give some ideas or options..bkn dgr je mslh ak n tros judge ak..PLEASE!!cukop la ngan mslh yg ak dh hadapi skrg..i needs support, bukan kritikan..

So if u guys baca ni, hope leh tlg i dgn cara if u guys tau ad part time yg flexible around KL, just let me know k..I x harap kan duit..Cuma ak harapkan SOKONGAN..please stop judging me..Cukop la ak rase malu n bersalah ngan my family n me..Ak malu sbab seawal umur camni, ak dh tnggng beban org dh berkahwen ats kesalahan sndri..Ak xde kereta, xde duit simpanan, Cuma ak ada hutang yg smpai tempoh yg lame bersama ak..n setiap ap yg buruk terjadi, ak akan sentiasa ingat untuk jd rujukan masa depan..Thanks 2 friends yg support ak..sokongan korg sgt2 ak hargai..coz ak pcaya, 1 day ak akan bangkit balik..

Sekarang ap yg terjadi kat ak n my family since thn 1997 tu, ak anggap bisikan dr Allah, Allah sedang berbicara dengan kami supaya kami sentiasa bersama Nya..Terima Kasih di atas ujian Mu Ya Allah..Terima Kasih kerana sentiasa mengingati kami..Kami sekeluarga akan berusaha utk Lulus Ujian dari Mu dengan cemerlang ..Amin2..

P/S 1 : Untuk2 kwn2 ak yg tros menghilang lpas ak minx tlg, ak akan ingat smpai bla2 psl 2..thanks 4 being a nice friend..Tiem kasih utk diaolog2 dr skrip drama Kisah Benar kamu ye..To those yg tlg n gives support ak akan ingat jasa korg..N smoga yg terbaik berlaku upon u guys too..Amin ..Doakan yg terbaik akan berlaku utk ak..really needs that..Thanks

P/S 2 : Minx korg buat2 xbc bnda ni ek..but if ad cadangan or nasihat or maklumat or kje part time, really2 welcoming its :D

P/S 3 : Ak bkn nak jd kan cte ni kes simpati, cma nak u guys phm keadaan i skrg plus x nak sape2 wat kesilapan mcm ak buat.. n if ad spe2 rase ni cte tpu or nak tagih simpati or kedua2nye skali, sila delete pape psl dri ak n angkat kaki jauh2..TQ..

12 comments:

  1. :(
    aku akan sentiasa sokong kau wahai sahabatku :(

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  2. Thanks Pak Din coz baca :) Thanks 4 d support..Hargai sgt2 wahai bff :).. *hug*..

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  3. be strong yer ma fren... sumer ni dugaan Allah... aper2 berdoalah kepada Nya... insyaAllah, beban yg kamooo tanggung sedikit sbnyk dpt dikurgkan... Allah x kan uji hambaNya melainkan Dia tau yg kiter leh hadapinyer... insyaAllah bnyk hikmah diseblik nyer...

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  4. Thanks Ajiz..Sgt2 betol 2..skrg i tgh dlm test mode..hope leh lulus ngan cemerlang nnt.. :)

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  5. setuju ngan dr violin/ajiz.. Allah takkan uji orang tu melainkan dia tau orang tu boleh hadapi ujian tu...

    anyway, u be strong okay. u need to know, you have to know and you MUST know that you're NOT alone. ada ramai kawan2 yang boleh tolong u. Maybe not in material way, but the most important, to support you morally and keep your spirit high.

    I've told you before, and i want to tell you again. I am, VERY VERY proud of you. Very proud to be your friend. Because you choose not to follow them. those people yang tau menda tu salah dan still nak buat jugak. Menipu orang.

    Danial, insyaallah, akan ada jalan keluar dari semua ni...

    keep and be positive okay...

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  6. Thanks Indra..Serious after lepaking smalam my mind dh terbuka sikit..Thanks 4 stay around me..Yes..Bla i dpt moral support dr u guys, serious i know i'm not alone n i getting semangat :D Minna-sama, Arigato!!

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  7. Bro..i feel bad..i x tau pn u simpan ksdihan u dsbalik senyuman n gler2 u..u know i'll always b there 4 u kan..hope dat u'll find way 2 solve ur prob..n glad dat ur family r all 2gether..b strong..

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  8. Mei Ling : Hahaha..i jenis happy go cari Laki kan..lalala..xleh sedih2..n i xska sedih2 :) its Ok..Sbab i know skrg i tgh d uji..n glad u guys around..Matic-an never let me down..glad Nico (kne sebot nme dia dlu klu x kne mrh..haha), U n Ayh ad..Seriously friends and family lah yg wat i leh survive smpai skrg..I sgt2 bersyukur ngan kwn2 I yg ad..Alhamdulillah..Fren 4ever :)

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  9. Ahaksss..sempat lg nk wat klakar ek..well, Nico will always b ur No. 1 kann..klo msuk boxing ring, skali dier tnung i..misti i kalah dah..Yup, frens n family is very important..lg2 family..
    Well, as u said..Allah sdg uji u..so sbar ek..tu pn aper yg i slalu said to myself if i m very2 down wiv life..n its true..mayb sbb Allah tau u r strong n nk bg u pahala..dats why Allah test u alot..sbar..

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  10. yeah..she is the Queen B..lol..yeah..i tau..sbab 2 bla ad mslh je i try gelak2..skrg i just tukar my social life n face all this probs 1 by 1..i dh ad plan..n hope menjadi..well goodluck 4 both of us :D

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  11. here i'm..kalau adew papew yg abg nak shahrul tolong just ask..if shahrul ble tlg shahrul tolong..if x ble kt ble cr penyelesaian nyew brsm..actualy shahrul pn x tau nak bat apew..if shahrul sendr pn kene mesti dah putus harapan nak idup..so kire abg sngt hebat masih berthn..harap abg dapat bersabar n bertahan hngg ke akhir..i always pray for you..kalau need someone to talk bg la tau..adew ms shahrul muncul dpn umah abg..take care ok..love u..

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  12. wut ashame.. u nvr tell me bout dis.. luckly ive open ur blog.. well...

    u get a bouquet of roses,
    full of colours n big,
    u smile n u feel hepy througout d day..
    yet, whn u come home,
    hoping to hve sumthing on d dining table,
    well guess wut..?,
    it empty clean,
    u feel frusturated,
    u want to blame sumone,
    but u walk away n sleep wit ur starving
    stomach..

    thrs a thing in dis wrld, dat would always make us much stronger thn b4.. it is d TEST, dat we will nvr cn evade.. trust ur self no others, trust all u love n who truly loves u, eyes cn b blind, but not our heart n our instinct..

    a life is a life.. dun worry i understand dis feeling.. get through it, b sumbody nu i ur nu marvelous life.. ;)

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